Writing. One word can carry so much excitement and angst at the mere utterance. If you are like me, and probably few of you are, writing is something that has to be worked into a schedule. For me, that schedule has nothing to do with working an eight hour a day job, but working my way around the pain of fibromyalgia and all the problems it brings.
Fibro pain can take me away from my desk for weeks at a time, while my mind wanders and spins around the ideas floating around in my mind. Laptop? Well, my laptop works fine until I open any Microsoft Office, then nothing. Just sits there and spins. Aggravating? you bet!
There are also times when the mind of someone with Fibromyalgia is cloudy and unclear, limiting the ability for creativity to surface and make its way to the white page. There is actually a medical term for this "cloudiness." It's called Fibrofog and it gets very foggy in here. Not a good time to write or even think about writing. Believe me, you wouldn't want to read anything I've written during the "fog," it can be so much worse than usual.
So, my small window of physical and mental abilities leaves precious little time to get what I want to write onto paper. Thing is, there are a million other things that have been piling up during these episodes of worse-than-normal pain, or fiborfog. So, what do I do? Pray.
I heard a minister say one time, years ago, "God has three answers to prayer--YES, NO, And WAIT A WHILE. The problem is not in the waiting really. The problem comes in determining what the true answer is for you. I have to admit that sometimes the answer seems to be a no when it is really a wait a while. How do you tell the difference? No might make you feel like a failure for a while, but you go on and you don't miss the practice of writing. In fact you are pretty relieved that you have some closure. If the answer is wait-a-while, then even if you try to stop--you can't. Your mind is always on it, always creating plots and scenes in your mind wondering how it would flesh out on paper.Waiting is you cross to bear.
For those of you who get the "Yes"! Congratulations. Do your best the first time, you may not get another chance. Mostly, pray for the rest of us. We are waiting in the wings-or is that on the wings.
